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Yesterday I caught the CBC radio program Q with Jian Ghomeshi while driving between clients(Have I ever mentioned that I drive almost as much as I train?…Upside: I catch a lot of good radio.) and the topic was the term MILF. Is it a 4-letter word? Does it degrade women or is it simply a saucy compliment?
Jessica Porter, one of Ghomeshi’s guests for the debate, has written “The MILF Diet” and claims she is appropriating the term MILF for the betterment of women. According to the MILF Diet website,
“A true MILF is confident, sexy, and radiates natural femininity. By eating whole, plant-based foods, you, too, can find balance and dynamic health, and unleash your inner MILF.”
In other words, eat a healthy diet to improve your health and appearance, and you too can be a MILF. Eeeeeeeeeeek. Let me just say, this book is not going anywhere near my bookshelves, or my daughter, anytime soon.
But is the term MILF actually so accepted and vanilla, in 2013, that we should be expected to aspire to “MILFiness,” as Porter puts it?
N.B.: If you don’t know what the term MILF means, may I suggest you google it and return to this blog forthwith.
According to Porter’s site, “Nine out of ten women surveyed had good feelings about the term ‘MILF’.” REALLY? 9 out of 10 women would like the term MILF applied to them? I mean, no matter how you spin it, it’s not the classiest of descriptions. It was funny in the movie American Pie and it might be nearing ubiquity, but is that a GOOD thing?
Does the term MILF unite motherhood and sexuality, as Porter claims? Is MILF the coming of the end for the Madonna/Whore complex?
Or does it classify only those “Moms” who are exceptional enough to be worth a romp? In other words, if you’re not a MILF, are you just a regular Mom with no sexuality or desirability? Let’s face it, 50-year old men are not checking out their romantic prospects on a Friday night at the pub and picking out the MILFs. I imagine, when you’re 50, you’re mostly checking out 50-ish women, and most of them are Ms, even if you don’t want to F them.
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The term MILF really only makes sense in the context of a younger man-older woman situation. In which case, the term MILF segregates the older women who are worth a F (not a relationship, or a date, or an introduction, or a conversation, by the way) from those who are – by default of being mothers – obviously not worth a young man’s attention.
I agree with Ghomeshi’s other guest, blogger extraordinaire Danielle Smith, that MILF = “Even though you’ve already had children and are clearly past your prime, you are so attractive that I’d actually have sex with you.” Barf. I’ve been called a MILF – I’m sure most of us have at one point or another, and it’s probably intended as a compliment or at least not intended as derision. It’s not the F word that turns my stomach. I’m no stranger to curse words. I just don’t want to be included in that group. I actually would prefer to not be classified at all. I’m a M. I might F. But one doesn’t affect the other (except, of course, that sometimes F leads to M….).
Thoughts? If 9 out of 10 women think the term MILF is positive, I want to see my own proof. Comment below and let me know your thoughts. Is MILF a compliment or an insult?